the trifecta

1. ain't my fuckin' problem.
2. whadyougonnado?
3. i got it.

William died: happy, young, and beautiful.

There was no room in the cab of the pick-up, so he sat in the bed. He did not mind this and in fact quite liked it. It reminded him of home, his childhood, tree houses, rivers, fields filled with fireflies, and old friends. Right then, he loved his life sitting in the bed of the pick-up. This was much better than any convertible. He loved how all the city’s lights shined on him, lit him up for everyone to see, how the crisp air, which came a little early this year, blew through his hair and over his teeth as he smiled face to face with the travelers sitting behind at the stoplights who smiled back or laughed or waved or showed faces of concern for his safety. He appreciated this small stage, the fleeting solitude and attention that it afforded him. He thought about how it was slightly uncomfortable sitting on the steel and how he would never see if the truck was to hit some obstacle in the road, a pot hole or a dog or cat, how he could very well fall out. He thought of all this, his possible end. he smiled.

before i die, i want to fight a dog.

my mother and i were driving on the highway on my 11th birthday when we picked this dog up off the side of the road. someone had apparently left him there for a reason, he was always shitting puking and pissing on himself. so we named him grandpa. grandpa lived with us for about a year then grandpa died.

i have as of yet never been shot, stabbed, mugged, jumped, struck by lighting, engulfed in flames, contracted a venereal disease, or cancer. so, until my track record suggests otherwise, i am currently invincible. 

"i gotta go my friend is in trouble."

"what happened?"

"i don't know he just texted me 'S.O.S', and i'm real worried cause we don't know anyone with a ship."

you know when a lady sound all sweet on the phone? she's got a nice cute voice then you see her and she's all weighing like three tons, and looks like she sings Oprah. you know Oprah, she's all mi mi mi feegaroh feegaroh feegaroooooooh.